Friday, July 8, 2022

A Day in the Life of a Republican

“She wakes up at 6 a.m. and fills her coffeepot with water to prepare her morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With her first swallow of coffee, she takes her daily medication. Her medications are safe to take because some commie-pinko liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of her medications are paid for by her employer's medical plan because some socialist liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now she gets it too.

“She prepares her morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Her bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry. In the shower, she reaches for her shampoo. Her bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and without harmful chemicals because some snowflake liberal fought for her right to know what she was putting on her body and what the shampoo contained.

“She dresses, walks outside, and takes a deep breath. The air she breathes is clean because some wacko environmentalist liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. She then walks to the subway station for her government-subsidized ride to work. It saves her considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

“She begins her work day. She has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some left-wing liberal union members fought for her working standards. Her employer pays for some of these standards because her employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If she is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, she'll get worker compensation or unemployment checks because some meddling liberal didn't think she should lose her home because of her temporary misfortune.

“It's noon, and she makes a bank deposit so she can pay her bills. Her deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect her money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression and Great Recession.

“She has to pay her Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and her below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that she and the government would be better off if she was educated and earned more money over her lifetime.

“She is home from work. She plans to visit her father at his home in the country. She gets in her car for the drive. Her car is among the safest in the world because some whiny liberal fought for car safety standards. She arrives at her childhood home. Her generation was the third to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and also demanded rural electrification.

“She is happy to see her father, who is now retired. Her father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so she wouldn't have to.

“She gets back in her car for the ride home and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that these America-hating liberals are toxic for this country. He doesn't mention that Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit she and other Republicans enjoy throughout their lives, but she agrees with the radio host’s [virulent ideologies, false accusations, and conspiracy theories] and that ‘we don't need those radical Libtards ruining our lives!’”





1 comment:

  1. I am not sure who the author is, but I took the liberty to revise, add, omit and post this.

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