Monday, September 9, 2013

Dear Illinois public employees (waiting for “pension reform” to steal your retirement stash), I have good news for you

Let’s imagine that we haven’t paid our bills for a long time, perhaps our mortgage or rent, taxes and insurance policies, credit cards and utility bills. To “reform” this irresponsibility, let’s all decide to do what Illinois politicians want to do to us. In short, let’s ask our banks, county collector, and companies to whom we are indebted to help us pay down what we owe them.

That’s right! It’s quite simple; besides it’s all about “shared sacrifice,” isn’t it? Let’s also write our own piece of legislation and proclaim that banks and businesses cap their earnings, reduce their planned executive Cost-of-Living Adjustments, and shift the burden of debts to their CEOs.

As many politicians have often whined we “have to do something,” our crafty idea is just like the General Assembly’s so-called “pension reform.” After all, no one knew CEOs and bankers would be living longer today, or that certain criminals among them would ignite an economic conflagration resulting in the worst recession in decades because of deregulated derivatives and asset-backed securities.

Like those among us who are currently planning to break a constitutional contract, let’s shift our debts to those for whom we owe money; hire extortionate lobbyists, lawyers and accountants to put pressure on our lenders; challenge the legality of what is owed, and garble the accounting rules to make sure this ruse doesn’t spark too much attention from an oblivious populace. Moreover, let’s enlist the corporate-owned media to promulgate our scam.

It surely would be easier to transfer the burden of what we owe our moneylenders, challenge our contractual obligations in the courts, rewrite the laws and policies in our favor; what’s more, we would be following the extended, corrupt tradition of Illinois politics. 

Glen Brown