Saturday, July 14, 2012

Please Don’t Steal My Pension

 (an emulation of John Prine’s “Please Don’t Bury Me” in G-C-D)

Woke up this mornin’, wrote another essay   

about sustainability,

And that unfunded liability of our State’s pensions

And that Committee of Chicago and their greed


So please don’t steal my pension and make me feel blue

I don’t want to work as a greeter and meet ‘em ‘til I’m through

So lower that fundin’ ratio; make the State pay debtors too

Tax the rich and the corporate, and the pensions will accrue

Don’t be duped by promises, legislators will not keep

Defined-contribution plans are savings that will seep

There’s a six-trillion-dollar deficit for holders of such heap

A defined-benefit pension plan is the only way to reap

(Repeat Chorus)

Let’s send our legislators to Afghanistan

Let’s hope that their replacements will do what they can’t

I met a Rep or two that didn’t understand

So I left her my research without any cash in hand

(Repeat Chorus)

Let’s generate more revenue, as fast as we can

A graduated income tax is the answer and best plan

Let’s redesign the legislators’ lack of attention span

Fire all their actuaries and the House’s Confidence Man

(Repeat Chorus)

I’m singin’ you this song, and I’m about to sigh

‘cause Illinois pension reform will likely be disguised

We must stand together against the wealthy and their bids

Because all parents need us; so do all of their kids

(Repeat Chorus)

for another pension ditty:

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