At Fred Klonsky's Request: A Pension Song with David Madsen and Friends

Please Don’t Steal My Teacher’s Pension by Glen Brown

(an emulation of John Prine’s “Please Don’t Bury Me”)

G                                  C

Woke up this mornin’, wrote another essay   

G                            D

about sustainability

                                           G                          C

And that unfunded liability, of our State’s pensions

                  G                          D                                     G

And that Committee of Chicago, and their greed

Chorus:

         C                                                       G

So please don’t steal my pension, and make me feel blue

                                                                                               D

I don’t want to work as a greeter, and meet ‘em ‘til I’m through

       G                                                        C                          G

So lower that fundin’ ratio; make the State pay debtors too;

                C                    G                                  D                       G

Tax the rich and the corporate, and the pensions will accrue

G                                                       C                      G

Don’t be duped by promises, legislators will not keep

G                                                     D

Defined-contribution plans are savings that will seep

G                                                              C                         G

There’s a six-trillion-dollar deficit, for holders of such heap

     C                             G                              D                    G

A defined-benefit pension plan, is the only way to reap

(Repeat Chorus)

G                                              C             G

Let’s send our legislators, to Afghanistan

G                                                                D

Let’s hope that their replacements will do what they can’t

G                                        C                        G

I met a rep or two, that didn’t understand

        C                  G                                D                    G

So I left her my research; without any cash in hand

(Repeat Chorus)

G                                                       C                G

Let’s generate more revenue, as fast as we can

G                                                     D

A graduated income tax is the answer and best plan

G                                                   C                        G

Let’s redesign the legislators’, lack of attention span

C                      G                       D                            G

Fire all their actuaries, and House’s Confidence Man.

(Repeat Chorus)

G                                                C                    G

I’m singin’ you this song, and I’m about to sigh

G                                                             D

‘cause Illinois pension reform, will likely be disguised

G                                                                 C                               G

We must stand together, against the wealthy and their bids

C                                      G          D                           G

Because-all-parents-need us; so do all of their kids

(Repeat Chorus)